Miss Helen

It is true that the reality of Helen's death hits in waves. I find writing about her is a bit surreal... I have a lot of words for other things but in this it is almost as if I am "outside of myself"... it's difficult to write...

... there have been so many memories running through my mind.

There are these moments you become aware of someone else of their link to you and of the reality that you are going to be friends. I remember being outside Shelly/Cindy/Joyce's home in Monterey Park.... and Helen and I talking...I think our first link was really talking about boys... we had the same ones really running in and out of our lives... for a couple of years.

We became partners at weddings... where we would go to the wedding and at the reception .. the moment we felt it was a little too much we would BLAZE out of there..(wedding receptions for single girls in their 30's are not always the most exciting place to be!). I don't know when it was that Helen and I formed a friendship that challenged each other spiritually... she was a prayer warrior..... many times she brought me back to prayer... we would talk through what we felt God was showing us... we were determined to lift each other up and not drag each other down...when she moved to Texas we had a tuesday morning phone call to pray together while I rode to work. She was always challenging others with her insight from the word... her latest book... or thought...

The weaving together of relationships that Lu and Conna talk about was such a beautiful part of our lives... Helen, Conna, Debbie, Lu...(others were in and out of there... Ron & Let, Syl, David, Tony, Darla were in there too) I used to say to these ladies... if we could just get together and agree we could rule the world! :) (Of course ruling the world was never on our minds... we had another passion... another purpose...) There was such passion and purpose in each life. I am still amazed at how each relationship fits a different puzzle piece of our hearts...

One thing that was amazing to me was the ability to entrust relationships to Helen... and all of this group... we all had a passion and a heart for other people to know Jesus the same way we did...it was our purpose... our focus together... and we did lots of things together to focus on each other's friends... When we threw dinner parties/lunches whatever they were amazing.. what a few could do together wow! One of my pics with Sarah and Ara that I hope to post... I love... because Helen loved my friends the moment they walked in the door... and asked about them... she did this with so many including Phyllis and Phil...Bruce... Chris.. Wolf... Ange...so many more....she just ate people up...she loved people and it showed...

I remember funny things like yes her smily faces (thanks LaDawn)... I remember her potato salad, her orange shrimp, her bright colors, her climbing the doorways (she would literally climb up the doorway.).. her little fingers were so strong. Petite, feminine Helen with all her climbing gear, packs, going off to climb... I remember giggles... especially when her and Conna got together ... they had the funniest comedy routines... the intensity of her relationship with Debbie... they just seemed to meet at this place... it was so beautiful to watch her interactions with people... her jokes... she was so funny, her jokes were never that funny in and of themselves... it was her delivery and that she thought they were so funny...that could keep you laughing.

She would challenge me... in so many different ways... spiritually, physicaly... she would tell me to stand up straight... she wouldn't allow me to talk about getting in shape or weight loss... because she said I would do it if I really wanted to. She would go work out with me.. .run/walk with me anytime I asked...

I remember the week-end that Deb, Helen and I went to Las Vegas for a relatives wedding..... we had an amazing time in the car... these gals always are challenging me... we actually read CS Lewis together didn't we... it was amazing... we listened to Louie Armstrong all the way home singing "What a wonderful world"... and we took Charlie's Angels pictures... We identified a lot with our challenges with men, life and ministry. None of us expecting to be single this long... none of us expecting the separations that often came from being who we were...

I watched Helen many times trudge head held high through some of the greatest hurts and difficulties of her life.. hoping trusting waiting on God...I watched her stubbornly hold on to life through physical conditions that no one would want... I watched her watch for other people's needs even in the midst of her own...

I can't say my relationship with Helen was without it's Challenges... you all know that .. I should say... we are both stubborn strong women we had our battles. I look back and there are a lot of things I would change if I could... more moments I would have memorized if I had only known... many times I would have chosen more grace... I do have many regrets... but I know that the next time we meet Helen all those will fade away... because we will have our perfect minds our perfect bodies... we will be the bright shiny new us... you have gone before... but we will meet you there.. and sooner probably than we would ever expect.... we will meet again...